I have this snotty girl in my class. Every time I look at Sarah she has some sort of snot on her face. Either running down her lip, smeared across her face or dried up and crusty around her nose. Today I had my hand on her shoulder and she turned her head. She slimed me. Thankfully, I was dropping them off at music class at the time and I could go straight to the restroom and scrub my arm. S’not one of the joys of teaching.

The preacher has called and left messages for me three times this week plus one email. I finally gave in and returned his call tonight. He asked if he’d “missed a wedding”. I probably didn’t handle it right but I just laughed and said I was having the baby on my own. Hello…I’m 39, most people figure it out. He said he wanted to meet with me to talk about what this new life would be like and what scripture has to say. I agreed to meet with him but I’m nervous. He probably just wants to pray with me and assure himself that I intend to let him baptize the baby. I’m not very close with this pastor and I’m not sure how much of our story to share with him. I’m afraid I’ll get emotional trying to tell it. Tears can be misinterpreted. God had a big part in every part of my journey, even when I felt myself trying to turn away from Him. I need to find some strength and make sure he knows this was a well thought out choice and that I had a force much larger than myself propelling me every step of the way.

I would like for my child to experience our small country church. I’m not opposed to finding a new church home but I’m very shy and it’s difficult for me to try new ones by myself. Also, I don’t want to leave my dad to go to our quirky church all alone. I know he won’t go as often if I don’t go with him.


17 comments on “Snot

  1. Wow! You handled his question well… I'm not sure how I would have felt if he immediately asked me to come see him and talk about your new life and what the scripture says… it's up to you but (as an armchair quarterback) I think I'd be clear about this being an intentional pregnancy… when's the sit down with the preacher?

  2. Good luck with the preacher talk. "what scripture has to say"???? I really hope he's not one of those really judgmental types; you deserve better than that. Know we are all with you in the room when you meet with him. I'll keep my fingers crossed that he's a decent human being.

  3. Ok so I'd definitely be digging in my heals at the whole talk with the preacher. Then again I've had so many negative experiences in my life with religion and I tend to be a bit defensive. Yuck on the snot. I get lots of sick patients which can get trying. I end up cleaning my office really well when they leave in hopes of preventing me from getting sick.

  4. I'm think that he probably isn't quite sure how to handle it with you either.. he may be kinda nervous too. But I think if you stick to your guns (especially if you can do it without getting defensive), then it should go fine.I have to admit though that reading that made my hackles go up just a bit. "Reading what scripture has to say about it" makes me feel like that there likely is nothing good scripture is going to say. That said, I don't really know much about scripture and am pretty much jumping to conclusions. When it comes to my religious figures, I try to think that only G-d is G-d, and the rest of us are human – regardless of what our professional calling may be. And on the flip side, it may go great! He could be warm and supportive and just want to make sure you're going to continue to be involved in your religion and church. Best of luck – keep us updated 🙂

  5. Ugh, I've had a preacher knocking on my door…I sense judgment in your future. Oh, it may be packaged as 'concern' but make sure you set the tone from the start that you are NOT ashamed of your choice to have this baby, and don't let him turn you into a 'cause' or a wayward soul to beat back into submission. Good luck!!!

  6. Honey, I don't want to alarm you or invite a shitty expectation but do brace yourself for the preacher talk. "What scripture has to say" concerns me a bit. My 82 year old devout Catholic aunt pretended to be happy for me and then went out to lunch with a friend and her priest and I heard they bad-mouthed me and said this pregnancy was "against the law." I assume they must have been talking abot god's law. I was hurt that she would participate in that and that she would, of course, ignore her 30 year affair with the church decon (who was married with nearly a dozen kids) but that's the lovely hypocrisy of religion I cannot stomach. Anyway, unlike you, I'm not a believer so it's a bit easier for me to ignore the disapproving remarks from men of the cloth.Just be strong and remind him that despite scripture and what he has to say, you felt personally spoken to and led in this direction by the same god he speaks of (if he comes at you with criticism).And good luck, truly!

  7. I can totally agree with the last bits of your post. My biggest issue has not been to explain away the choice as much as its been to let it be known that this is a decision that I felt led to. Just like you said, it's for you, you were lead here. I hope he understands that if the time comes.If you feel the need and he pushes beyond just hearing the basic story, I wouldn't go beyond letting him know that you didn't act on your own accord. There are several scriptural instances were what we, in our human understanding, would assume would go against God in how they happened (instances similar to sperm donation, surrogacy) and yet the opposite occurred in the end. God blessed the family, the child, the circumstances. If he, your pastor, really wants to bring up scripture, he can't truly do so without denying whats also written there. I don't know that any of that made sense but I often imagine having to talk to my pastor from my hometown (no clue if he knows about Jett yet) but I imagine he will one day and I'll have to go over it all myself. I can only hope no tears come in the way for either of us (cause we have no reasons to cry) and that we can let it be known that God orders our steps same as he does for others.

  8. "If he, your pastor, really wants to bring up scripture, he can't truly do so without denying whats also written there. " Or maybe I meant he can't do so and still deny it?? You get what mean, kinda, right? Lol.

  9. Good luck with the talk with the preacher. Like some of the other posters, I immediately got defensive with the whole "what scripture has to say". I'd be very, very clear with him (I'm assuming him) that if he doesn't have anything nice to say you don't want to hear it!I hope it goes well.

  10. Oh yucky on the snotty girl! I guess snot will be the least of your worries in the near future 🙂 Good practice!Regarding meeting the pastor, I would just speak from your heart and especially of you feel like your being judged or cornered. I am sure his intentions are good, but sometimes peoples opinions don;t matter, including the pastors. Paige, we all know how long and hard you thought about and prayed for this, so there is no doubt in our minds how much you want this baby….I think once he knows some history he will realize the truth too and give you his blessing. Let us know how it goes. xoxoxoxo

  11. And be sure to ask the preacher what he thinks of this scripture:For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. ~ Psalm 139:13-16

  12. Rachelbk has a good point…I'm also curious as to what scripture has to say since when the scriptures were written there wasn't IVF or FET…I admit, I'm a bit pessimistic when it comes to religion…I hope your meeting with your preacher goes better than you expect.

  13. Like some of the other posters mentioned, and you've mentioned before, it's really important for me that everyone know that the choice I made was to have a baby in the first place, not to keep the baby after an accidental pregnancy. Your baby and my baby were both conceived with love and hope and joy, which is more than can be said for a lot of babies born in to married couples. I can't (and won't) believe that God thinks that is wrong. I really hope your meeting with the pastor goes well. I can see how hard it would be for you to continue to go to that church if it doesn't – and also how hard it would be to change to a new church! I'm in the process of finding a church….which would first require me to actually go to church, and I haven't been able to make myself do that yet.

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