Dear Dr. Mucketymuck (Pastor Jackass’ boss),
Currently, I am still a parish member at Uptight Church, however, I am seeking a new church home due to a meeting I had with pastor jackass. The meeting was concerning my pregnancy due to IVF. I want to be clear that I understand that this is a controversial topic, however, when I was asked to meet with Mr. Jackass I expected support and spiritual counseling. I didn’t anticipate being treated with harsh, unkind judgment.
Jackass told me I had committed a mortal sin and that I should repent and have humility so that I might better cling to the cross. There was nothing sympathetic or kind about the delivery of this diatribe. When I would answer one of his criticisms, he would veer off to criticize me about another. There was no comfort or support as he spoke, but in fact, he seemed to need comforting when he asked me not to see him as a “mean guy”.
He talked of the situation my child would be coming into. Keep in mind, Jackass has seldom exchanged more than a few words with me. He knows very little about my situation and didn’t bother to get to know more before expressing his disapproval. While he mentioned the Bible stories of Abraham and Adam and Eve, he at no time offered to share scripture. At the end of our meeting, I was curtly excused and told he would pray for us. I’ve never encountered a preacher who didn’t offer to pray with me.
Please understand that I do not want to cause any trouble for Jackass but cringe at the thought of someone else enduring a meeting like this. Some counseling in tact, compassion and forgiveness might be helpful to him and those he “counsels” in the future. Clearly I cannot stay at a church where there is potential for my child to be treated harshly by the spiritual “leader” as I have been.
Ok…I have to admit there is a tiny part of me that wants to cause trouble for the jackass but mostly it just seems like someone in charge should know about the horrible way I was treated and that I will not be attending this church any longer and why. My dad says I should not send the email because it would ensure that they would continue to contact me and that it wouldn’t make a difference for the preacher. My aunt says go ahead and send it, bring some closure and move on although she too thinks nothing would change for the preacher.
Hard to know what to do. I really do not want to cause a big kerfuffle or drag this wretched situation out any more than it already is. I was thinking of ccing the preacher himself and saying at the bottom something like, “Please do not contact me further as I am severing all ties with this church.” I’m trying to figure out if there is some way this can come back and bite me in the butt. Opinions from the blogsphere?
Sure enough, my dad called me tonight to tell me he had the rent on some farm ground for me but the real reason he called was to say that he was furious and would kill anyone who treated his daughter this way. Well, not that dramatic but my dad’s quiet version of it. He said he wasn’t going back to that church either and that if jackass contacted him he would let them know what a miserable failure of a preacher he was. His voice actually had some emotion in it….like anger? Hard to identify because Dad never gets angry. Somehow it made me smile while choking me up at the same time.