Locket and Lockers

I found out today from FB that my cousin had her baby Monday. Not sure how I missed the post until now but she sure is a beauty. I’m torn asunder. I haven’t cried this hard for days. I wish our 20 week abruption hadn’t happened to us, I want to be successfully pregnant like my cousin or the “other” pregnant teacher. I just want my Sweet Pea to still be growing inside me.

In brighter news, I received a surprise and completely anonymous package in the mail. A caring card and sweet locket engraved with “Mom”. I’ve been straining my brain looking for clues to figure out who may be responsible. If it’s any of you out there in the blogosphere, I want to say thank you so much for brightening my day. Seeing the word “Mom” on the necklace and knowing it’s referring to me as Greyson’s Mom warms my heart.

Picture of the Day:

Since the “Push” picture turned out pretty good (thanks MB) I kept my eye out at school for other little signs in that vein to photograph and I thought the locker tags that show the locker number would make an interesting, vintagey looking photo but they didn’t turn out very well. They loooked dull… sort of lifeless. I did get to practice turning off the flash and messing with the ISO button even though I’m still not certain what that means. So I looked for other locker shots. This row of locker handles was the best I could do today. The little hole is where they’d put the lock if there was one.
I’d like to lock myself in and never come out.

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By tearsandtantrums Posted in grief

8 comments on “Locket and Lockers

  1. Don't hate on yourself. No one would ever say "I'm so glad this happened to us!" No, nobody would be happy about that but I know I would be one to wonder why my and not someone else. I'm sure others would as well. That's natural. That's honest and I can't hate on your honesty. Such a sweet gift you got. You are Greyson's mom and always will be. Now you have a sweet reminder.

  2. I may have mentioned this before, but after my miscarriage, when I was so upset that LB was accidentally pregnant with her 3rd when I couldn't even stay pregnant on purpose, I felt huge guilt. And then a friend said to me, "It's ok. Being upset doesn't mean that you wish bad things for her, or that you aren't happy for her. It's just that you're so sad for yourself, you can't feel anything else. And that's normal. You can't feel bad about being normal."Love your picture today – so creative! I'd love to see a picture of your locket; what a sweet and thoughtful gift!

  3. I've got a few thoughts on the locket- I'll tell you when I see you next or in an email or something.I love your picture- I love seeing something we see every day in a different way. Sometimes we just get so used to it we stop seeing it until we get a different viewpoint. I'll try to send you something that explains ISO and other things about your camera when I get a chance.

  4. Sorry today was so tear filled. Sending you a big hug and hoping some gold light surrounds you quickly. I can understand why you would want to lock yourself in the locker, but I'm glad you took a picture of it instead. Love the perspective through the handles and the reflection on the door of the locker. Cool shot. Greyson was lucky to have you as his mom. How sweet of someone to recognize it too and send such a timely gift.

  5. What a lovely gift – and totally deserving! I often cry when I see / hear about / read about someone else's baby. Those happy mums – we are supposed to be one of them.

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