I forgot to mention a bird pooped on my head yesterday. First thing on a Monday morning. I should have known at that point the week would be shitty.
The kids were bananas today and it was so hot and humid that I really had no patience at all. This one day a week I get two thirty minute prep times but not today. The librarian was absent and the PE teacher could not have PE because it was rainy and there was spring musical practice in the gym. Yep, six and a half hours with no breaks…just one cranky teacher with 16 crabby, hot, crazy kids. Recess was like a war zone. I feel like I spent the entire 30 minutes just walking around stopping scuffles, yelling at kids not to climb on the fence or use the jump rope as a restraining device or telling them to stop “play” fighting. It was chaos. I’m not sure what is happening to these children…it’s like they’re becoming animals.
Krishon handed me a battery saying he’d found it at his house. I just put it in my pocket and forgot about it. Later on, I was administering a reading assessment and started feeling a warm spot on my abdomen. I was already so sweaty that I thought I must have some little spot that was chaffing or something. It got warmer and finally was uncomfortably hot. I didn’t want to stop the reading test so I put my hand in my pocket thinking I would at least rub the spot. Poor Lauryn looked quite alarmed and I was also surprised when I jumped up, pulled the very hot battery out of my pocket and yelled, “My GOD THAT IS HOT!” while throwing it down on the table. Guess I’ll be retesting her tomorrow.
We had an unexpected demise. We’ve been raising butterflies in our classroom and they hatched out of their crysalides last week. Today I heard the kids talking over at the mesh butterfly “pavilion” saying, “Oh look, one of them is sleeping. See it laying on it’s side.” I immediately knew something was terribly wrong. Sure enough. One of the butterflies had gone on to butterfly heaven. I wasn’t sure if the food supply was running out or what so we had an emergency release of the remaining painted ladies. I managed to flip the plate the food was on over onto the “sleeping” butterfly so the kids were not aware and I didn’t have to have that talk with them.
Second day off of antidepressants and I’m not sad but the speed my mind turns is starting to accelerate and I’m beginning to be plagued by negative thoughts. Especially concerning the upcoming cycle. How to slow those down? I know there is a strong connection between positive thinking and a good outcome. I’m just not sure how to force myself to become positive.
I came home, ate an entire bag of chips (yes the whole thing and not a cute little bag either), got a “check in” phone call from one of my besties, a visit from sunny Dollface, took a rather aggressive walk and now I’m cooling off in the A/C and do feel much better.
I’m sure ready to get off this damn roller coaster though.