I can’t believe I’m about to share this.
Yayas, you may want to look away for this one.
It’s a picture of my “back” room. It’s a shameful mess. My grandmother is spinning in her grave right now. Doesn’t it look like the beginnings of hoarding?
I was thinking it’s a metaphor for my life. Once it was my “office” it was fixed up and although I wasn’t really satisfied with the decor, it was ok looking.
For a while, just like me, it was full of an exciting kind of potential. Just the weekend before the sad, bad thing happened, I had emptied out the secretary in the corner and was planning on soon getting help moving the big stuff out. Dreaming about moving a crib in.
Now it’s a wreck, just like me.
Full of leftover junk from the kitchen remodel, Christmas presents that haven’t found a home, crap that fell out of the closet that I was too lazy to pick up, Dollface’s art supplies and toys, Sweet Pea’s ultrasounds and memory box, bookshelf emptied of my books and waiting for baby’s stuff, photography stuff, tech stuff, FET paperwork, school stuff.
Everything’s in there. It’s a mess, just like my life. I can’t tell if I’m going forward or backward. I can’t get this room together and I can’t get myself together either.
Perhaps there is still potential though.
Let’s call these “before” pictures, be on the look out for “after” soon: