Costume 2

OK this costume thing is still really on my mind. What the hell is wrong with me that I obsess like this?
My mom hated Halloween and we always had cheap store bought costumes that fell apart before the end of the night.
Don’t get me wrong, we still had a lot of fun and there is nothing wrong with a store bought costume.

But…

I couldn’t wait to make home-made costumes for my kid, go to the local parade and trick or treating. I would have shown my cute baby off to anyone who would look at him.
I feel so cheated and sad that I don’t get the chance to do any of that.
I just can’t stop thinking about how different life would be if he was still with me.

Is it going to be like this for every holiday. I’m dreading the coming months.

Me, me, me ….. it’s all about me….

I miss him so much it hurts everyday.

PS…the restaurant was kind of cheesy today but it was great to have my dad to myself for nearly the whole day. We “farmed” the whole way down there, checking out all the crops and comparing them to ours, also, he relived the many times he drove that route to college and I even (slightly) broached (very slightly) the subject of trying to get pregnant again and talked over just about every other topic you can think of that a girl and her dad might talk over on an hour drive to and from a cheesy themed restaurant.

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One comment on “Costume 2

  1. I think you should start looking at options. I don’t think your life was meant to be without a child. I don’t mean jump in with both feet; just start looking and getting things organized and deciding what you can do.

    And I don’t think anything is wrong with you.

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