Mom’s Reaction

Mom surprised me…well, I REALLY surprised her.  Her reaction was priceless and I wish I’d had camera in hand.  I don’t think I could have shocked her more.  She had to do a double take and then asked if it was real, then she laughed and laughed.  She was very complimentary, even toward the artist’s coloring which she is very critical of being an artist herself.  She was amazed at the array of colors he had available to him.  She was all smiles and full of questions.  She didn’t say one negative thing.   But she did ask if I would go with her to get one sometime.  I don’t think she really will but who knows?   I’d love to have her design a tattoo for me someday.

After she recovered from the shock, we had a nice day of shopping and even though it was Saturday, the shops weren’t too crazy.   She spent an insane amount in a candy store and it reminded us of shopping with Aunt Alys when bulk candy places were the new thing.  Mom got so excited back then that she went around to each basket and grabbed a handful but when she got to the root beer barrels she exclaimed over them and grabbed a few extra handfuls.  Then she nearly fainted when her basket got weighed, it had all added up so fast.  Aunt Alys enjoyed recounting this story and the amount of root beer barrels increased every time she told it.  We call it “The Root Beer Barrel Incident”.

Anyway, sidetracked…  We had a good talk on the way home about the past year and how we’ve survived it.  I’m still a little worried about her, though.  She’s going to a Christmas party with my dad tomorrow and expressed a concern that she would spend most of it in the bathroom crying or have to leave early.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a wreck a lot of the time but I can usually get through a social event and, in fact, use them to distract myself.  My Dad has given her no indication that he remembers or cares what happened a year ago.  He’s “oh well, you can’t change the past” attitude hurts me greatly.  It seems to me like he’s erased it and offers Mom little support because of this.   Tomorrow’s his birthday so I know he must remember the date that sad, bad thing happened to us.

It a lot of ways I consider a year gone by a triumph.  There were so many moments I wasn’t sure I would survive.

Sometimes I still can’t believe it happened.  Surely no one would survive that.

One year ago from right now, I had just found out my baby was a boy and healthy.  One year ago I was feeling my baby move every day and walking on clouds.   Thinking about nurseries, showers, and the reality of being a single mom.  I was actually starting to gather clothing and other baby things.   One year ago, everyone smiled at me all the time and they loved my baby with me.

I have only a few short hours left of remembering happy times “one year ago”.

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7 comments on “Mom’s Reaction

  1. Paige sweetie, I am glad that your mom can easily share her emotions with you. You have written before about how your dad has trouble communicating the softer stuff and will “do stuff” to let you know he cares. I know in my heart that he knows what is Monday is and is trying to handle it in his own way. Hopefully between now and then he will find a way to let you know that he is still grieving his grandson also. You are constantly in my thoughts and you and Greyson will be at the forefront of my thoughts on Monday.

  2. I love your mom story. Both the emotions and her reaction are beautiful.

    You know you are an amazing and strong person. I should have mentioned this a week ago, but when I was having a meltdown just before my last transfer I thought of you and found strength. I hope that doesn’t sound too weird. I’ll be sending you energy the next couple days. Stay strong but grieve too.

  3. I’m sending good energy your way as well over the next couple of days. I love the tattoo and excited to hear that your mom liked it as well. 🙂

    Carolyn

  4. I’m thinking of you & Greyson today. I am in awe of you & how you’ve survived this year. I can’t imagine how difficult today will be. Be kind to yourself, be selfish & take care of yourself.

  5. Your mom is funny, with the candy store- made me laugh! I wish greyson was there with you watching Grandma go nuts! LOL

    It must be nice to have good memories that make you smile, although we all know how the story ends, I am glad you are able to look back and smile. I hope Greyson sends you some more reasons to smile, even as we approach the bad memories. I’m so proud of you for surviving this past year, it hasnt been easy, I know. Hugs to you. xoxoxox

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