OMG…FML

My new egg donor has SYPHILIS!

You read that right, the STD!

It’s a long tale of antibodies and a donor who may have lied about having ever had it and what the FDA will and will not allow.  All very confusing and I won’t write more because I’m not really sure I understand it myself.  When she called to tell the donor about this, the donor gave a very “stoic” response and asked what syphilis was.

Really, REALLY?????

What the hell else can happen reproductively to kick me while I’m down?

I almost laughed when the coordinator told me because of course, OF COURSE my donor has syphilis or the antibodies or may have had it a long time ago.  OF COURSE.

The donor agency lady said in 10 years she’d never seen or heard of this happening before.  So it happens to ME….of course it does.

I could feel myself becoming angry, bitter and jaded as the coordinator talked.  Not at her or the donor but at the universe or destiny or whatever.   I really feel like quitting…I mean really, how many signs does it take for me to get it through my thick skull.  I’m simply not meant to do this.

But I’ve already paid all this money…and the coordinator and donor agency lady encouraged me to find yet another donor and move forward.

This one will probably come up with whooping cough or the plague.

OMG….FML!!!  And I don’t use those acronyms lightly.

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7 comments on “OMG…FML

  1. That is totally bizzare. But it definetely is not a sign. I hope you can find another donor soon and keep with your Jan timeline.

  2. I’m sorry to hear this but probably not as sorry as the potential donor. WTF, how could she not know? Aren’t there symtoms?

    I think these agencies should take a bit more repsonsiblity for screening donors instead of letting us pay for it so all they have to do is make money. Really, what did they lose in this. A bit of time on the phone or email telling you, oh, sorry, pick another one, try again, maybe she’ll be better.

    I do wonder why the dark cloud of doom seems to love some of us more than others. I think it will pass. It has to. Right?

  3. Oh hon…that sucks! I understand that feeling of the universe being against you all too well. I hope that this means there is a better (less clueless) donor out there for you. I know I can’t do anything to make you feel better, but I did say a few loud and colorful words on your behalf.

    Love and hugs!!!

  4. Take a deep breath and exhale. All this means is that this particular donor wasn’t supposed to genetically linked to your baby.

    This is a good thing.

    Think of it as God saying, “no, I’ve got a better donor in my plans for you.”

    Consider the luck that they found this out before proceeding! My goodness, how many other mothers carried her eggs? I don’t know of how Syphilis affects egg quality…but simply the fact that she had this, didn’t know about, and likely had unprotected sex, all indicates to me that we’re not dealing with the brightest crayon in the genetic pool.

    So really, this deserves a congratulations! You dodged a bullet!

  5. Oh sweetie, it sucks that it keeps screwing with your schedule but I agree with The Mommy that this donor (obviously so clueless) is not meant to be connected to you or to your child. Are you looking at “proven” donors?

  6. I couldn’t believe it when I read this! I’m sorry, this sucks. And I agree with Evelyn about the doctors/donor agencies needing to take a better stake in screening the donors. It’s such a gamble. But – I know you will find an even better donor, although I’m sorry you have yet more added frustration in the process.

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