Things were going fine. I kept thinking I should write here but I didn’t know what because things have been so calm and boring. Donor Agency Lady contacted me yesterday to let me know that my new donor was on a low dose of Xanax didn’t want to “waste my money” on lab work if I didn’t know about the medication in case I didn’t want to go forward with her. She didn’t let us know this until THE DAY the lab work was due. Because I didn’t answer the email until after business hours I’m screwed for using this donor for February. The donor is “sorry and understands if you don’t want to go forward with her”.
The medication didn’t bother me. I was on it for a while myself after the baby died. But I think she either is a flake which means she will possibly flake out when it comes to the important stuff or she just didn’t really want to be a donor.
I did not laugh this time like I did with the syphilis incident. I cried and felt the bitterness taking me over. I really want to quit but there is at least $5000 that is nonrefundable plus I’m sure more than that from the doctor’s office. I work hard for every penny and I can’t just let that much go down the drain. I cried and cried last night begging God to show me my path because this certainly can’t be it. I feel like some kind of moron that He keeps having to hit over the head.
I am assured I can still get in on the February cycle with another donor although if I couldn’t get in with this donor, I’m not exactly sure how a new one could work.
Anyway, on to donor number 5. Wonder what will go wrong this time.