Dr. C is a very knowledgeable doctor. She definitely is up on her research and wanted to tell me all about it. I didn’t understand most of that. She couldn’t talk to my most recent history because Dr. A’s office didn’t send over the records even though I signed the consent over a week ago. Frustrating. She could only go on what I told her. Also, the most recent blood work that Dr. S ordered would not be back yet. She is not totally convinced that it is an autoimmune issue. She wants to look into possible thyroid issues and a certain new autoimmune test that they haven’t done and thinks a “scratch test” would be a good thing to try with me. I haven’t looked it up yet but from what she said it’s where they biopsy the endometrial lining in the cycle prior to the transfer which makes the lining more receptive to implantation and the cells they take out they coat the embryo with so it can get used to the idea of “me”.
She didn’t come right out and say that Dr. A and Dr. S’s clinic is just in it for the big business but her hesitations and voice inflections were enough. She also intimated that Dr. S might be stretching the truth when he goes on about developing and inventing this and that. I think I mentioned that was a little bit of a red flag for me. She said when she got the complete records she would go over them with a fine tooth comb and give me a call with her thoughts.
Although Em has offered to do another fresh cycle with me, the doctor mentioned a place in Georgia that “sells” frozen eggs and that it might be a good option financially for me. She also said her clinic’s success rate is the same with frozen embryos as with fresh.
She began to tell me about some poor woman who has done 10 cycles and finally got pregnant using frozen eggs from Georgia. I began to cry. You’d think I would be able to keep it together by now but the thought of someone going through this 10 times and that I might have to go through it 10 times just became overwhelming.
She gave me a long, tight hug when I left. I can’t tell you how awful it is being the one that even the doctor feels so sorry for. I walked out of there feeling very drained. I don’t really feel encouraged, but I think I will switch clinics. I believe she’s a good doctor and I’ve regretted not switching to her when I saw her the first time. I’m back to wondering if this is ever going to happen and should I just quit. It just all seems like so much to deal with.
When I got home Mom and the girls were here with two new friends for me. We had discussed Mom getting a cat for me for Christmas so they adopted not one but two for me today. I was so wiped out that I’m afraid I didn’t show a lot of enthusiasm. I must admit I thought “This is it, I’m not going to have children…I’m on my way to crazy cat lady status.” They are awful sweet though. Razzle is a black cat and seems very spunky and Kody is buff colored and seems to be more shy. I have to change Kody’s name since we have a cousin named Kody. I’m playing with Robert or Pete (after Pete the Cat” which is very popular cat around my school right now). I think they will be good friends for me and I hope my puppies can at least tolerate them if not be friends.