She “wasn’t impressed” with the one border line test. She agreed with Dr. Sher that is was not a result that could be blamed for my problems. She also agreed that there were no further tests I could have that would help solve the problem.
I asked her if she would go ahead and do the intralipid treatment anyway seeing that this would be my very last chance and why not give me every chance possible. She said that due to the protocol of Wash U she didn’t think she could offer that to me since none of the REs or other specialists could support it. She sited research..blahblahblah. She likes to blabber on in medical terms but she won’t do it. She was firm.
Then she blabbered on about all these little pickyanty things we could do. Another saline ultrasound, keeping up with the thyroid medication and continuing to lose weight, maybe go on a blood thinner, uterine scratch biopsy, she talked about going to Cornelle where they do this thing where they coat the embryos in the uterine cells, this is not offered here yet and won’t be for a long time. She talked about another fresh cycle.
So the choices are:
A. Go with Dr. S. who I think is less through as far as my specific case is concerned and wanted to do the intralipid treatment anyway but didn’t mention any of this other stuff and who I know didn’t go through my file to my satisfaction.
B. Go with Dr. C who I know did go through my file thoroughly but won’t throw me an intralipid bone on my last try.
I see now that I really thought the intralipid treatment was going to be my saving grace because after getting off the phone with her I started to cry. I suddenly feel this is my very last chance. I don’t really believe any of the little treatment tweaks will make a difference. I can NOT keep throwing thousands of dollars away when they don’t know what the hell is the problem.
Oh God, it’s really going to happen. My chances will be over and I won’t be a parent.
Suddenly, it seems like it’s going to be a horrible year.
P.S. Guess there’s no need to change the blog name…plenty of tears and tantrums to be had.