It’s been a long week….I thought this day would never get here.
I was told the embryos were “beautiful”. Even with my medical degree from Google, I thought they looked beautiful too.
I was told my lining was “perfect”.
I was told everything went “smoothly” and the embryos were situated in the “ideal” spot in my uterus.
I’m trying to be hopeful but the trouble is I’ve been told all these things before…multiple times and it didn’t seem to make a difference in the outcome.
I tried not to look at the screen because I didn’t want to let my feelings get away from me but they made me look. I didn’t feel any of the magic as other transfers. I recall walking out afterwards and trying to walk “softly”. I recall having stars in my eyes for my little embies and thinking I felt their energy inside me. I tried to cherish this last transfer and I do so desperately want those little ones to grow inside me but I don’t feel any “stars” now.
Dr. C reminded me that we’ve done a lot different this time…I’m trying to be hopeful.
The beta is a very long time away….12 days.