What? What? What?




I KNOW!  What’s happening here?!  I’m STUNNED…times 3.

Let me back up a little and tell you about my weekend.  On Sunday, I had a sudden bleeding episode.  It was way more than spotting but after that first small gush it stopped completely.  It scared me badly but I’d had an episode like this when I was pregnant with Greyson so I tried to hope for the best until I knew what was really going on.  Monday, I had an EPIC bleeding episode.  Lots of bright red blood and clots the size of golf balls.  I was terrified and knew with everything I had that I’d lost the pregnancy.   I went to bed and cried for hours.  I didn’t take my evening or morning medicine because I was sure there was no reason to.  I don’t think I’m exaggerating here…there was A LOT of blood and clots.  I didn’t think there was any way a fetus could survive that.

I almost didn’t show up at the doctor’s office at all because it was my last chance and now it was over…but when I called the nurse talked me into coming in just to see exactly what had happened.

I told the ultrasound technician what was going on and although I tried to prepare myself, I cried a little and she gave me a hug.  I wouldn’t look at the screen, just waited in the awful silence to hear her say the inevitable.  But she didn’t say it…she gently said to look…there’s an egg sac and another one and a third one.   Girls, I’ve never cried that hard in public before.  I asked her over and over if she was sure.  She showed me the heartbeats and patiently answered my questions one by one.

So they are real now and I’ve begun to love them.

The doctor said that sometimes there’s a little bruise in the uterus and there’s no place for that blood to go except out.   The bruise showed up on the ultrasound.  She said it was very small but there was sure a lot of blood coming out of me for something so little.  I’m still spotting quite a bit.

The difficult part is that this is now an extremely high risk pregnancy.  The doctor says it’s not a question of if I will be asked to selectively reduce one or more but that I will definitely be advised to do so.   This scares the hell out of me and I do not want to do it.  The doctor didn’t use these exact words but basically said it would be best if one started struggling a little to justify the reduction.  She said the best case triplet pregnancies only make it to 33 weeks or so and still need NICU support for several weeks if they make it.   Obviously being overweight and so old I’m not a best case scenario.   And it’s always in the back of my mind that I didn’t make it anywhere near 33 weeks with a singleton last time.

I go back in one week to see their progress.

So while I’m over the moon happy and excited….I’m terrified too.


71 comments on “What? What? What?

  1. Omg! Paige!! Wow. I’m at a loss for what to say!! Three!! I’m sorry you’ve had such a scary few days & so much ahead of you. I am keeping you & your three babes in my heart & prayers. I wish I could do more. I’m so excited for you but also can only imagine just how scared you must be. Hugs to the four of you!

  2. WOW! Oh WOW! I had a horrible SCH with my daughter. The doctor wasn’t even optimistic, but amazingly enough that little one is sitting in my kitchen screaming at me right now. So I have hope and faith these little ones will make it….And for the record, I work in a NICU and took care of several 35-36 week triplets. It is possible. It’s a lot of bed rest, but it is possible. Selective reducing is a very challenging decision. I hope you know, whatever you decide is best for you and your babies, I will support you 100%….only you know what is best. Thinking of you and sending all the hugs I can! Congratulations!!

  3. OMG — triplets – I am speechless (although I have to admit seeing your beta numbers I sort of had a feeling it would be more than two)!!! So very glad the bleeding did not affect anything and they are doing well. I can totally understand you being scared and worried about the decisions that lie ahead. Wishing you all the best.

  4. Congratulations times three!!! I can only imagine how scared you must have been with the bleeding and then how relieved you must have felt to learn that your pregnancy is indeed still progressing.
    I know whatever decision you make regarding selective reduction will be a difficult one so all I will say is think about your doctor’s advice, but don’t let her talk you into anything you do not want to do.
    So happy for you!! 😀

  5. Oh my goodness, Paige! I can only imagine what a wonderful and terrifying place you are in right now. It’s a tough situation you’re faced with – I hope and pray you are able to make the one that you are most comfortable with. You know we will support you, what ever it is you decide. xoxoxo

  6. I am so sorry for what you had to go through at the weekend, it must have been awful. The good news is that you are most definitely preggo! My suggestion is that you try and get some good rest, enjoy being truly knocked up, and take your time to find out all the information you need, and then come to the decision which is right for you and your family. There is no easy / best / right answer, only the one which you choose, or which chooses you! And Shannon is so right when she says we will all support you whatever you choose.

  7. I was thinking twins but wow.

    I agree with the others. Do what you need to do and you will have support from me.

    The selfish part of me is dying to know what your protocol was and what you did to prepare yourself.

  8. Holy Cheese Balls! Three! So exciting and scary and everything in between!

    I am sending light your way for the days ahead and hope you find peace and clarityI


  9. Paige- Like you I am so excited for you and a little scared. Time will reveal the right path to take and the right decision, I am sure. In the meantime, you are pregnant and I am sure the universe has Great things in store for you and these babes.

  10. Congratulations! I had been anxiously awaiting your news, but wasn’t expecting this. Holy smokes! Have you found the blog OMG There’s Three yet? Sarah is an SMC that has triplets.

    While every situation is obviously unique, when I was worried I was pregnant with triplets, I did some research and found that triplet pregnancies statistically aren’t much more high risk than twins (the same cannot be said for quads+, which is when my RE would start advising for reduction). But you definitely need to do what is right for you and your situation!

    Sorry your weekend was so scary. I remember how scary my bleeding was and your sounds much more intense. I imagine it might have to do do with all that placenta.

  11. Oh honey Congratulations!!

    Take it one step at a time…try not to over analyze (yeah right!) and try to just enjoy!

    Giant! Giant! HUGS!!!

    I am so happy for you!

  12. So exciting and scary! BUT … YOU’RE PREGNANT! As others have said, we will support you in whatever decision you make. If you want to email me, I have an SMC friend who reduced her pregnancy.

  13. I am so happy to see this post (not the part about the bleeding, but the rest)!!! I have no doubt that you’ll make the best decision for your family if you do have to make a decision. Bleeding is really common with multiples (I made several frantic trips to the OB and the ER with my twins!) but it doesn’t make it less scary, especially with a history of loss. Please rest and think good thoughts.

  14. Oh Paige!!! I’ve been checking on here waiting for an update! I’m so excited but also nervous for you. Been down a similar road as you have (and others that have commented). I had horrible horrible horrible bleeding with my twin daughters (who are now 3 yrs old). The kind of bleeding that goes through pads, underwear, clothes, carseats and towels immediately. Mine was from a subchorionic hematoma and I had it from 10 weeks until 22 weeks. Bedrest pretty much my entire pregnancy. Several ER visits which massive amounts of bleeding and clots. The first time it happened I knew there wouldn’t be any heartbeats and lo and behold their were 2. It is scary as hell. I am thinking of you. I have not been in the situation of selective reduction, you have to do what is right for you. It is a hard decision no matter what you chose. I would tread lightly on telling IRL friends/family about your decision until you make it (or not tell at all) because you will get alot of flack either way. I am soooo excited for you!!!

  15. Hi. This is my first comment, but I have followed your story for a while. Don’t let anyone tell you that being old or fat is going to hinder your pregnancy. I am old (39) and fat (250 lbs) and I had a perfectly normal twin pregnancy – until 32 weeks when I developed pre-ecclampsia – but that had nothing to do with my age or weight. I was on hospital bedrest, but I delivered my twins at 36w1d – perfectly healthy and no NICU time.

    A triplet pregnancy will be tough, but doable. My sister-in-law carried her triplets to 33w4d (TTTS with the boys). They had less than 20 days in the NICU and are awesome 10 year olds now.

    Whatever you decide, you can do this! Best of luck to you and congratulations!

  16. Congratulations Paige !

    I wish you all the best. Maybe, you might want to reach out to bloggers that have had triplet pregnancies – both those that that decided to reduce – and those that did not. I can think of a few that I follow that would fall under those categories. It will be a super hard decision either way, but hopefully you can find some advice and support from those that have been where you have been.

    Still, this is exciting and scary and wonderful !!

  17. Congrats on the good news….but sorry to hear about the decisions you now need to face. I have two friends who are SMBC who went through years of fertility treatment and ended up with triplets pregnancies. Both these friends reduced to twins. If you need to chat to someone in a similar situation to yours – both we’re older, donor embryos, etc – email me and I’m sure they’d be willing to share their experience.

    Sending you lots of cyber hugs and support

  18. Holy buckets! I figured you were going to say twins, and sadly I didn’t even catch the 3 whats. What a major rollercoaster for you to be going through right now.

  19. Wow! So much to deal with and process…still sending you much love and support. My heart is bursting with excitement for you and hoping that things go much smoother from here on out.

  20. Congrats to you x 3!! found your blog thru a blog, thru a blog 🙂 What a instant family you have there! You can do it… I don’t have triplets but we do have 2 sets of twins, 3 yrs apart. Will be praying for you!!

  21. Hi! I am a mom to 9 year old triplets who happened upon your blog. I just thought I’d say hi and let you know that it can be done. I know a lot of triplet moms and we were all asked to reduce at some point. It’s just common practice. It doesn’t mean that you have too. Good luck and look up the group “Moms of Tiplets” on Facebook if you want honest caring advice!

  22. I know it’s scary, but don’t react until you have all the information. It’s true that a triplet pregnancy is high risk and you may have some factors that make it higher risk. But it can be done and work well. I was counseled to reduce by my first doctor and got all the testing done – it showed that I was in good health and the babies had no markers for any problems. I carried my babies to a scheduled c section at 36 weeks with no complications or bedrest and my kids are now two and a half and awesome. Hang in there!

  23. I have triplets. The reduction talks are very scary. But I can tell you that through this journey I have met thousands of fellow triplets and the VAST majority had extremely positive outcomes. Yes most of the babies came early, but they are all very healty. I myself carried to 37 weeks. I just wanted to pass along some encouragement and ask that you avoid google. There are LOTS of amazing triplet mommies on Facebook with AMAZING stories of success. Reduction only guarantees the loss of life, not the preservation. I’ve heard it said by physicians that it will only buy a few weeks time. So please don’t let fear guide you down that path, listen to your heart. -Ashley

  24. First off, Congratulations!! I am a mother of 20 month old BGG triplets, so I can understand much of what you are feeling right now. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and it doesn’t end anytime soon, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My suggestion? If you do not want to reduce, then don’t. Many people of all shapes and sizes have carried triplets and many have carried them well. Almost all of the triplet moms I know have received the reduction talk, with gloom and doom stats.

    I made it to 32 weeks. My 3 were in the NICU for 25 and 30 days. The first week was the most involved with oxygen and IVs. The Saturday after they were born we were free of all that stuff and then it was just waiting for them to learn to eat, and gain weight.

    They are now 20 months old. Healthy as they can be 🙂 They are on the smaller side for their age, but they are walking, talking, and fighting of course!

    I am the admin of a wonderful group on Facebook called Moms of Triplets and we would love for you to come join us! https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsoftriplets/

  25. Oh the dreaded reduction discussion. I know how much you hate to hear those words because I was in the same spot before. Actually my history is quite similar to yours, although I was pregnant with triplets twice! During my first pregnancy I had complication after complication. We made it to 23 weeks 4 days when disaster struck and I was forced to deliver my sweet babies knowing they wouldn’t live. Fast forward 7 years and one singleton pregnancy later my husband and I decided to do Ivf again. We transferred two embryos to avoid triplets but to give this last shot at a baby a fair try. You can imagine my surprise when we were pregnant with Quads. Quads!!! Identical triplets and a singleton. One embryo split twice and the other also implanted. What are the chances of that! My doctor flat out said reduce. No questions, no suggestions, reduce. I couldn’t do it. It’s a personal choice for sure but for me, it was not an option. I saw a few doctors and landed in a high risk perinatologists office. I gave him my whole history and braced myself for the “reduce” conversation again. He took a deep breathe and said “it’s not impossible. It’s not easy and its not certain but if you want to go on this journey I will go with you” and so we did. I’m so grateful for his care and my courage. We lost our baby d at 12 weeks. She was always behind the pack in size so we knew that was very likely to happen. But right now I have three beautiful 2 year olds sound asleep in their cribs recharging to give me a run for my money tomorrow… And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    If what you want is to continue this pregnancy then commit to it, find a great doctor, and take the best care of yourself that you can. In the end, no matter what happens, as long as you can say to yourself “I did everything I could” I think you will find you made the right choice. Best of luck 🙂 miracles do happen

  26. Hi, another triplet mom directed me to your blog. It is a very difficult decision to reduce. Most doctors inform every triplet mom of this choice as it a medical option. We seriously considered reduction and I will tell you why. My first pregnancy was twins and we delivered them at 24 weeks 5 days with only one surviving. When we were ready and brave enough to try again we specifically told our RE we would not put 3 embies back as we did not want the risk of triplets. On our first try for a second pregnancy we put two back. Nothing. On our second try we put one back. Nothing. Our our third try we put 2 back. Triplets. One split. We were freaking out. If I couldn’t carry twins what were we going to do with triplets? I made it to 31 weeks 6 days with the help of a cerclage and a great doctor. The boys are now 18 mos and all are healthy and spot on for their development. You have to make the decision that is right for you as you will have to live with the choice.

  27. Congratulations!! I just wanted to say go with your heart. If you feel selective reduction isn’t what you want, don’t let anyone push you into it. There are many of us triplet momma’s who were given the same spiel and went onto have 3 beautiful babies.

  28. Hi, I have 5 year old triplet boys who were born at 34 weeks. Yes, they were in the NICU for a couple weeks as feeders and growers. they are healthy, energetic little boys!!! The selective reduction talk was given to most of us, just remember it is your decision and don’t let your doctor scare you. Find a good perinatologist who has experience with higher order multiple pregnancies and buy the book by Dr. Barbara Luke on being pregnant with twins, triplets, or more. (Sorry, I’m tired and can’t remember the name of the book.). You can do this momma!!! 🙂 Congrats!!!

  29. Come join our “moms of triplets” group on facebook. We will be able to answer any questions that you might have about being pregnant with triplets (or more). The group is closed, so you will have to click on the button to request to join.

    My triplets were born at 32w5d and while they did spend between a month and 2 months in the hospital (last came home close to due date), they are all perfectly healthy almost 3 year olds. I believe that 32 weeks is the average gestation for triplets, but some do go further, and they say that they usually come home close to their due date. Also, drs have to tell you about the risks, and give the option of SR to save their own butts legally.

  30. I’m not going to be long winded, you can certainly email me if you want to talk more. We choose NOT to reduce. At the 9 week u/s when everything looked great my MFM asked me if I wanted to tell her or let her say it b/c she knew how we were proceeding. I moved six hours away for moderate bed rest at 18 weeks. They were born at 34 weeks due to the very beginning signs of pre-e. all three were over 4# and spent 23 days in the NICU. I don’t know your history, but a triplet pg can be done and can be healthy. Just take it one week at a time, or one u/s at a time. My last comment: to say they hope one starts to struggle, well, I’d never go to that dr again!

  31. Just wanted to leave some encouragement! I don’t know your story but my ONE & only shot at a pregnancy via IVF resulted in triplets. Yes they were born premature (29w4d) but my husband & I decide against CVS, amino & selective reduction b/c we believe that God has a higher plan for us – He wouldn’t give us more than we could handle & thank goodness for modern medicine! My doctors/specialists suggested reduction just because they LEGALLY have to (risks to mom & baby), but, in my opinion, it’s not worth it. There are MANY of us with healthy, surviving triplets & a great support group for you! We’ve been there through the roller coaster of emotions & an help walk you through it!!

  32. Hi , I would just like to let you know that you are not alone. It is a scary and crazy thing to be told you are growing 3 humans haha. I want to encourage you because I was in the same boat. I was told I would never get pregnant and if I did I would miscarry and reject the pregnancy ( they even wanted to give me a hysterectomy at the young age of 19) but I did get pregnant and despite the doctors advice I did not ” reduce my load” as he referred to it. I decided to let nature take its course and if it was going to happen it would happen on its own . I will admit that I lived in a lot of fear during my pregnancy and felt like I was waiting for something to happen but around 30 weeks I realized that I was actually going to have 3 babies ! I had 2 boys and a girl , born at 32 weeks and all weighing 4 lbs. They were incredible and healthy and they only stayed in the Nicu for 3 weeks to grow and learn how to eat 🙂
    They are now 2 years old and have never been delayed in anything , they are smart, funny and beautiful and every time I look at them I am so great full that I did not listen to that Docter who referred to them as a “load”
    I can’t imagine not having all of them. Life is crazy but they are a true miracle !!

  33. I carried triplets to 36 weeks and also had bleeding in the beginning. That’s 36 weeks with no bedrest and though my babies did not come home with me they were discharged after just 6 days.

  34. Congratulations, from a fellow triplet momma! I did not go through IF treatments, but from what I hear, selective reduction (or SR) is a VERY common thing to be suggested. Triplets are not considered a “success” for them, since most people go in hoping for one baby or two. But I would definitely suggest you find us online on Facebook (Moms of Triplets is one group).

    All that said, there is no guarantee with any pregnancy, as it sounds like you know all too well with the loss of your son. My girls were born just shy of 28 weeks weighing between 1 lb 11 oz and 2 lb 3 oz. Shocking, I know! But while they did spend over two months in the NICU, they are now normal healthy little 8 year olds, and that was just a blip in our lives that I’ve nearly forgotten. The average gestation is 32 weeks for triplets, and usually 32-weekers are only in the NICU long enough to gain weight and learn to eat. They’re called “feeders and growers.” And a lot of people go longer, since that is, after all, the AVERAGE gestation. I hope that after you speak to a few fellow triplet moms and find out what it all entails to be in a high-risk pregnancy, you can make a decision on sound information rather than the scare tactics a lot of doctors use to “erase their mistake” with SR, if you know what I mean. I was also slightly overweight when I conceived and ended up LOSING a few pounds the first trimester. Being overweight can actually help you in some regards since you are already roomy 😉

    So I’ll say congrats again, welcome to the world of triplets, and I hope you’ll get the answers you are looking for!

  35. Congrats to your new family on the way. The reduction speech is given because doctors HAVE to give it, for malpractice reasons. If you do not feel you have to then do not do it. Do not do it because someone pressures you. I lost twins in the second trimester, and two more losses after that. After that I had my one son, and then triplets. Pregnancy for me in general is not easy, my body does not do well with it, but I managed. I carried the triplets to 33 weeks 4 days, and all came home after 19 days in the NICU. All are very healthy and very active 1.5 year olds now. If it is something you want, then fight for it!

  36. I have triplets. I carried them to 34.5 weeks. They spent 20 days in the NICU. They are all perfectly happy, healthy babies. SR is an incredibly personal choice that only YOU can make not your RE or MFM. Almost every triplet mom I know has been given the “talk”. Some drs harsher then others on it. There are plenty triplet support groups on FB.
    Your MFM is wrong the average gestation for triplets is 32 weeks. So that means half make it beyond that time frame. You may want to get a second opinion from an MFM that ha more experience in multiples. While you are still processing this information go check out the book what to expect when expecting twins, triplets, & quads. It really helped ease my fears of my triplet pregnancy.

  37. When I was pregnant with triplets, at 11 weeks I started to gush blood and thought for sure I was having another MC, we were shocked to see all 3 heartbeats. I continued to bleed throughout the pregnancy and now have 7 year old triplets born at 29w6d. Get lots of rest, eat alot and take care of yourself, you can do this!

  38. As a proud triplet momma (who carried healthy babies to more than 36 weeks), I beg you to get a new doctor. It could be that your medical situation is unique but I know hundreds of joyous triplet outcomes. This doctor may not have had any experience with this but there are healthy and amazing triplets running around in every city and town. Please please please find a new doctor who has experience with high order multiples. My boys are the lights of my life….good luck to you. You’ll be in my prayers.

    • Just read the other comments. I just want to add that I had no bed rest and my babies were 5-6 lbs each. I had a particularly great pregnancy but I just want to emphasize that there are good outcomes. And I have friends who had very premie triplets with a long NICU road who are sitting at the soccer fields now watching them plan ball. There are of course more problematic outcomes and I know how scary it all is….but just find a doctor who is well versed on HOM and doesn’t just immediately tell you to reduce out of ignorance and fear.

  39. Congrats! I am a mom of almost 4 year old triplets, along with 2 older siblings. Although it is very scary and shocking right now I can assure you that there are thousands of triplet moms out there. Most of us were given the reduction talk (me included) and we have all our babies from saying no. Lots of moms have been through very difficult and scary pregnancies, super early deliveries and on going medical problems, but non of us would change anything.
    I was told for the first 12 weeks that my baby B wasn’t going to make it. First it was a lot smaller than the others, second it didn’t have a heartbeat when the others did. At 11 weeks I went for an ultrasound and baby B’s heartbeat was 190. They told me it was dying and would be gone the next week. I was terrified and so sad. But then at 12 weeks I went to see my perinatologist and everything was fine, including baby B. I was able to make it to 33 weeks and 4 days with 11 weeks of modified bed rest and the last 3 in the hospital. My boys came out at 5.4, 4.13 & 4.6. They were great size and spent 3 weeks in the NICU to learn to eat and put on weight. We had a pretty uneventful NICU stay and everything turned out great!
    Please try not to think the worst. These things happen for a reason and god blessed you with these babies. Find our triplet group on Facebook, Triplet Mommie’s and you will get so many great stories.

  40. Hi there and congrats fellow triplet mom! I have 10 month old girls born at 33w4d, they spent about a month in the NICU and are FINE. So first off let me tell you that probably 90% of the triplet moms I know were told to reduce. Secondly, bleeding during the first trimester is extremely common with a triplet pregnancy. Definitely get yourself in with a high risk specialist (perinatologist or maternal fetal medicine doctor) ASAP. They helped calm my fears immensely. As far as delivering early, yes most triplets deliver between 32-34 weeks, but I know many women who’ve made it to 35 or 36! Hang in there friend, and congrats!

  41. I’m a mom of triplets. I had an OB who was very negative and one who was positive. I carried 35 weeks 5 days. No one went to nicu. I had no bed rest and a fairly easy pregnancy. I was on self-appointed couch rest starting at 30 weeks. I had a c-section 3 days before I was scheduled and we all came home 4 days later. My kids will be 4 this summer. While its been very hard getting them to this point, they’ve been great. There’s a very large triplet mom support circle on Facebook if you’re interested. Best of luck and I’ll keep you and your beans in my prayers.

    • Oh, I was 39 and rather chubby when I got pregnant. Anything is doable. Yes there are risks but also great success.

  42. Congratulations!! I was referred to your blog through another blog also! I am a mom of triplets who will be 3 next week!!! We were asked by our RE and our OBGYN if “reduction would be in order”. My husband and I said absolutely NOT! I was overweight and 38 years old when pregnant. Don’t let anyone scare you or tell you that reduction is a must! It’s not! My triplets arrived at 32 weeks 4 days. They were in the NICU for 3 weeks and 5 weeks. My advice is to take it easy, drink lots of water, eat well and LOTS! and keep your feet up!! You can totally do this. I am so happy I didn’t reduce…I couldn’t imagine my life without any of them. Congratulations again!

  43. Hello! Congrats on your triplets!! Please don’t let ANYONE pressure you into reducing. I had a set of BBG triplets 6 yrs ago at 29 weeks and 4 days. Even though it was tough having NICU babies, it was not the end of the world. They struggled in the beginning but now will be 6 yrs old this month and are thriving. I wouldn’t change a thing!! I started heavily bleeding at 13 weeks only to learn it was placenta previa. It corrected it’s self by week 19. Good luck! I’m ad admin on the Facebook group “Moms of Triplets” please feel free to join. We would love to have you. If you can find it my FB name is Tanna Wall Boyles and I’d be happy to direct you towards the group. Much love and prayers to you!

  44. Congratulations! I can remember how scared I was when the doctor started moving on down the alphabet and labeling baby a, b, and c. He took about 2 breaths before he mentioned reduction. I would be a liar if I said that we didn’t consider it. Actually it was by researching it that we realized that statistically SR didn’t provide any benefit to lengthening pregnancy. There are some great resources out there that provide wonderful information. I never thought I would have more then two kids but I can’t imagine life without my triplets.

  45. I came across your blog off our triplet page. My triplets are now just over one and JUST FINE!!! They were born at 32 weeks 4 days were home from the NICU in 2 weeks 1 day. You can do this. It is the most hard yet amazing time of life. You can email me and we can chat. I was NEVER asked to selective reduce but I was not seeing a fertlility dr??

  46. Your story sounds exactly like mine except I haven’t miscarried a baby before. My triplets were born at 30 weeks and they spent 4-6 weeks in the NICU but are now healthy and thriving 20 months old with no medical or developmental problems. Please don’t let the doctors scare you. Keep those babies in as long as you can. There are no guarantees even with a singleton or twin pregnancies. There are lots of triplet mom groups on FB that can support you. Best of luck!

  47. Hello, congratulations on your pregnancy! I have 12-year old triplets and it’s been a scary, wonderful, fantastic experience so far.
    I did a bunch of research on selective reduction back in the day, and I don’t think maternal weight or maternal age have any effect on outcomes. Your IF/pregnancy summary on the side of your blog says that cervical issues may have played a role in your loss: an experienced maternal-fetal medicine doctor would want to review all your records to figure out whether that plays affects your decision to reduce or not. It’s possible that SR may be the right choice for you because of your specific history, but it’s also possible that a preventive cerclage and careful monitoring by a doctor with plenty of experience delivering triplets would result in a healthy delivery for all three babies. There are risks from a reduction, too, and your previous loss might affect that risk just as much as the pregnancy risk.
    FWIW, the average gestation of a triplet pregnancy is 33 weeks — not the maximum, the AVERAGE. Most triplets deliver between 32-35 weeks and yes, the earlier your babies arrive, the more likely they are to have a NICU stay, and NICUs can be rough/scary, but most babies have no long-term issues because of their early birth. My children were born at 32 weeks, 4 days, had 5/3/3 week stays in the NICU, and you would never that now.
    Every pregnancy is different and your specific history will determine the best choice for you, but based on statistics, we decided that the slight increase in positive outcomes from reducing to twins wasn’t worth the actual death of one of our babies. The key factor is going to be finding a doctor who has experience with triplet pregnancies. Good luck!

  48. Please do some research before following the selective reduction advice. I became pregnant with triplets when I was 38. My uterus had extensive scarring and damage from a previous c-section and the RE told me I needed to reduce or I would die. He scared us to death, but we went to a perinatologist who told me that it would be okay. I carried those triplets to 36 weeks with no complications and no bedrest. They all weighed around 5 pounds and needed little to no NICU time. They will be four in a couple of weeks and are perfectly normal, happy, healthy children. Best of luck to you.

  49. I also have triplets and was advised to reduce. I hadnt suffered any loss previosley, but every doctor advised reduction. I have 2 identicals and a fraternal, all girls. I did end up with a “bad” outcome. Bed- rest at 20 weeks, emergency cerclage, bag break at 23.5 weeks, delivered at 26 weeks. The girls spent 3 and 4 months on the NICU and it was Really hard. They are now 3 years old and perfect. Yes reducing your pregnancy may help the orher two stay in longer, but there are no guarentees. Even single babies are born early and spend NICU time. I know MANY triplet moms who chose to give all 3 a chance and delivered 3 healthy babies. I look at my Baby C and csn not imagine her not here. Triplets are amazing and doable. Please consider govings yours a chance!

  50. Oh my gosh – that doctor of yours! Best case for triplets is 36 weeks and some women even deliver at 37 weeks! I believe 32 weeks is average. 33 weeks is awesome, but certainly not the ‘best’ case since many got past that. Some do not, of course, but NICUs have come a long way, too. My triplets were born at 30 weeks 6 days and spent 5.5-6 weeks in the NICU. They are almost four years old now and you’d never know they spent those first weeks in the hospital hooked up to monitors. One of our neonatologists (NICU doctor) said that in a good NICU the survival rate for babies born at 30 weeks matches that of full-term babies.

    You’ll have to do some research to find a good Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist or Perinatologist to care for you and your babies during your pregnancy, either instead of or in partnership with your regular OB, but a triplet pregnancy is certainly manageable. I highly recommend the book Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or more. It made me feel very prepared for the pregnancy, birth, NICU, pumping/breastfeeding, and caring for them at home.

    Oh, and we were also given the selective reduction speech by our RE. My OB never mentioned it and I got the distinct impression that my MFM was opposed to selective reduction altogether.

    Good luck!

  51. Congratulations on your triplet pregnancy. I know it’s a scary time. I can remember wanting desperately to be happy that I was pregnant, yet frightened to death at the prospect of actually carrying three babies at once. I’ve written a bit about the pressure women fact to reduce their pregnancies. http://www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com/2007/05/too-much-to-carry-i-think-not.html

    My advice is to find a good perinatologist, ditch your RE, and get an opinion from an expert in managing HOM pregnancies. Good luck!!!

  52. I also have triplets (they are 3 and a 1/2). I carried them to 37 weeks.
    Just want to wish you the best of luck & do what you feel is best. I could not reduce & I’m so thankful I didn’t! I say give all 3 a chance! Triplets are a blessing!!

  53. Hello! I am also a follow triplet mom! GBG 2.5 years old! Please dont let anyone pressure you into reducing! Do some research, join some triplet boards and then make a choice. Like many of The other ladies have said, most of The triplet moms were encouraged to reduce! I hope to see you in our group Moms of triplets!! You can emial me also, if you need to talk! Good luck!

  54. My fraternal triplet girls just turned 5….and they are happy, healthy, and so funny. I was able to get to 35 weeks, no bedrest, and only one had to spend time in NICU (5 days for monitoring as she was smaller than anticipated). Like nearly every triplet mom, we had the reduction speech, and while we were scared out of our wits, we decided not to reduce. That speech was given via the RE. Once we started with our Perinatologist and told her our decision, there was never talk of it again. I can’t imagine not having one of my sweeties here with us. Wishing you a long, healthy pregnancy!

  55. Congrats! Mom here to 15 yr old ivf BBG triplets, born just shy of 34 weeks – spent 13 and 19 days in the hospital but perfectly healthy. I had them at 39 after a 13 yr history of infertility and loss. If you look at my 6’+ boys, and dancer girl – all 3 of them honor students (bragging here) – you’d have NO idea they were preemies. By the time they were 1, they were caught up. SR was never mentioned and never an option any way. It IS perfectly doable. I wish you a long healthy pregnancy – there’s ton of triplet support out there. Please don’t be bullied into reducing. Do your research. The doctors doom and gloom is not necessarily the real story. I could never in a million years imagine my life without any one of the,

  56. Hi Paige! Yet another Triplet mom here! While your situation is unique, (every single person is different), you have a difficult time ahead of you. I think we were all told we “had to reduce” and for those of us who stood our grounds and had positive outcomes, we can be your biggest champions. Having said that, there is a huge dose of reality also that must be mentioned that it’s certainly high risk and not always a favourable outcome. My BBB fraternals were born at 35 weeks planned Csection, 5.3lbs, 5.9lbs and 4.9 lbs. 🙂
    Whatever you decide, you have support all around you at your finger tips. 🙂

    Good luck and hopefully will get to know you on the triplet Moms boards as time goes by.

    Cheers, Melissa Newcomb.

  57. My triplets are 6 months old. I was also given the reduction “speech” but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I carried to 36 weeks and 6 days. My trio didn’t spend any time in the NICU. You should find some local or online triplet moms to get some advice. Its such a hard decision, but also a very personal one. Which ever you decide, it has to be right for YOU. There is no right or wrong answer. (in my opinion) Good luck! 🙂

  58. As you can see from the last several responses, there’s a whole community of us triplet moms which is the second blessing I’ve had aside from my triplets. A triplet pregnancy is hard–physically and emotionally. But all the triplet moms who left you messages gave their children an equal shot to life by taking on a risky pregnancy. Very few will tell you they have regrets, even those whose outcomes were not the best. But a vast majority will tell you that the risks they took far outweight what they received–three babies. It’s not going to be easy. There will be days it feels impossible. But once you hold your babies in your arms, your heart and arms will overflow with love. PS I have 29 weekers, 70+ NICU days–were those easy? I would not wish those days on anyone but I would do it all over again because I got my babies. The first two years were gnarly. They are now five, and its still gnarly for different reasons–they have become loud, active and very funny little people.

  59. Congrats! Triplet pregnancies do have their risks but are doable. Find great doctors and you will do great. I now have 3 very healthy 3 year olds. Greatest joys of my life

  60. Hi and congratulations!!!!! I made my way over via Michelle’s blog, to tell you that you do NOT have to reduce if you don’t want to. I don’t know anything about the RE world (mine were spontaneous, not that it matters), so IDK what the rules are. From being in triplet groups for 5 years now it seems like assholes, everyone has an opinion. 😉 But my regular OB took on my pregnancy and said it was no big deal, we’d get through it no matter what the outcome was. I was never even told about reduction, which is great news because if I had been, I would have done it. I worked until I was 30 weeks along, went on bedrest for PTL at that time (due to dehydration; I’d had a giant kidney stone and a stomach flu a few days apart), and at 34 weeks, 4 days, my trio was born, weighing 5 lbs each. My first pregnancy ended in MC at 11 weeks, my second produced our oldest daughter, and my third, an accident, gave us our triplets. You never know what fate has in store for you, but I honestly believe that things always work out the way they are meant. Like, maybe you were meant to have your babies via your cousin and have them all at once, kwim? No matter what, your decision is personal, and difficult. I don’t envy you. But it might be “high risk” that turns out amazing. It might be a troubled pregnancy. No one has a crystal ball. Do what your heart tells you. And FFS, if your doctor won’t listen to your wishes, find one that will support you no matter what YOU want to do with YOUR body, and YOUR babies. Best of luck!!!! And welcome to being a triplet momma!!! 🙂

  61. congrats! another fellow triplet mom here, mine turned 4 last week. I made it to 35 weeks. We were also given the reduction speech, You need to follow your heart and do what is best for your family that you are creating. Good Luck!

  62. Another triplet mom here! I wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy. My doctors never even mentioned selective reduction to me, but I know that is not the norm- most triplet moms are encouraged my their fertility doctors to reduce (mostly to “clean up” their numbers since higher order multiples make them look bad). My pregnancy was smooth until my blood pressure started rising towards the end. My triplets were born at 31 weeks and spent a long time in NICU, but are now completely healthy, smart and fun 3 year olds! Good luck with your pregnancy.

  63. Welp, guess what? Another triplet mama here! =) (Triplet Mom Fb group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/PATOJA76/)

    Your post brings me back to the day I found out we were not losing our baby…but that there were THREE. (http://growinguptriplets.com/2012/04/26/the-good-news-is-its-triplets/) I was ter-ri-fied. Angry. Sad. Fortunately, I didn’t have to face a doctor telling me to abort one of my babies. Because I couldn’t. I could no more choose today, at 20 months, which one I could live without. Makenna Mae? Noah David? Or Emma Claire? Even if I lost them all… I can honestly say I would give my life (then or now) before I could tell the doctor which one to “reduce.”

    There are never any guarantees, mama. No doctor (none!) can promise that. At all. I battled fear every day of my pregnancy. But I trust the One Who put each one in my womb – He created them inside my womb and grew each of them. He also created me inside my mother’s womb. It is up to Him when life begins and ends – not us.

    I also had a cerclage and delivered at 32.4 (http://growinguptriplets.com/2012/10/01/the-big-day/). And recently we went back to visit our MFM whom we adore (and never asked us about “reducing”): http://growinguptriplets.com/2013/05/10/meet-the-boss-the-babies-mfm/. =)

    I would lovelovelove to chat with you, mama. Please email me ANY time, day or night. jenniferlfountain at gmail dot com. Anytime. I’m here for ya! ❤


  64. I can see the triplet community has found you! Well that’s how I found you too. I was 36 when I had my triplets, they are 6 now and happy and healthy. I also have 2 older singletons. My triplets were born by scheduled c-section at 34w 4d because of growth disparity, they were 4lb9oz, 4lbs 10oz and 4lb1oz. Two came home with me and the littlest one 5 days after the rest of us once he’d put on some weight. He was fine, just small. You have had some great advice, find a good doctor, get as much information as you can, listen to what your heart tells you is right, because no-one will have to live with the decision you make but you. I wish you all the best.

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