Dear People Who Keep Asking How I Am,

I am NOT ok.  I will NEVER be completely ok.  How would YOU be if all your children were in the ground?   Please don’t ask me this question or if you do, do NOT expect a cheery answer.  It’s NOT my job to make you feel GOOD about what happened to me and my family.


Dear People Who Want To Talk To Me,

Please do not expect me to hold up my side of a conversation.  I’m not yet strong enough.  I can’t put my thoughts together and verbalize them to you.  My every thought and emotion is with my sons.  The best I can do is to not cry while I’m looking at you talk.


Dear Cousin’s Drunk Stupid Wife,

Thank you for informing me that there is “a reason” my sons died and that it’s part of some grand plan.  I’m sure you realized how difficult it was for me to venture into a big gathering for the first time following the death of my sons.  Thank you for easing my way into it by yammering on and on about the great future I have.  YOUR children are all alive…YOU go out and enjoy your great future and leave me alone.  I will NEVER believe there was a good reason my family all had to die.  I hate you.


11 comments on “Dear…

  1. OH Paige….I’m so sorry people are being so insensitive to you during this sad time. Of course you’re not going to be OK…I do hope you will find the love and support to find you’re way through this time. Please know I hold you all in my heart and in my prayers and think of you often. HUGS to you.

  2. Oh my god…how could anyone be so stupid as to say there’s “a reason” for this? I’m so so sorry, Paige. You shouldn’t have to deal with such ignorance and insensitivity. *hugs*

  3. It’s awful how insensitive people are in times like these…even while trying to be well meaning, they are just being stupid. Anyone who has to ask how you’re doing is just stupid. Anyone to have the nerve to imply that your loss was for “a reason” is stupid…I think you get my point, people are stupid & you shouldn’t have to be subjected to them.

  4. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with anyone at all when trying to process what you have been through and also grieve what you have lost. It is hard to believe that people just don’t understand losing a baby/pregnancy is just as hard/if not harder than any other loss. Virtual hugs are all I can offer.

  5. Paige, I agree. People are just flat out stupid. Sometimes I am amazed that they do not realize how stupid/ awful what they are saying is as soon as it falls out of their mouths. I am so sorry that you are surrounded by stupid people. I hope and pray though that there are some family and friends who are there to support you- whether it is help with chores or just giving a hug and letting you cry. I can only send my love and know that is not enough to help.

  6. I’m so sorry you have to deal with stupid people. I hope you have some people in real life who aren’t so insensitive and who are there to support you. I wish you could have someone who would fend off the stupid comments before they had a chance to reach your ears. Thinking of you and wishing there was more I could do.

  7. People, especially the ones who have never had anything bad happen to them ever, can be idiots from an emotional standpoint. I’m sorry if you have to deal with it without lashing out, especially to the people who ask how you are doing, or tell you it was some grand plan.

    Thinking about you a lot. I wish there was something else to say, but everything falls flat.

  8. Oh Paige, I am so so very sorry. I haven’t been reading blogs in a while but I was so thrilled to see that you had three beautiful little embryos. Then when I saw your name come up somewhere I was just hoping it wasn’t you with this horrible loss. This is too much. I have no idea what to say – there is nothing to say that even comes close to expressing how horrible this is – how much suffering and loss you’ve been dealt. Every one of your babies was so fortunate to have you for the little time they did. You deserved happiness, but I have no idea how one moves on from so much heartache. There is no good reason for all your little ones to die – that woman is an idiot who needs to learn not to open her mouth if she’s got nothing but empty, unkind platitudes to say.

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