I’m really having a problem with the passage of time. I hate that it takes me further from the happy memories of being pregnant and even from the time of them being born. I was sad the day I stopped bleeding from giving birth because it meant the birth, and even the healing from giving birth was over. I don’t want to forget a single memory or any of the details, even the painful ones. Turning the calendar to October took me a few days and it didn’t feel good when I did it. The marking of one month since Jack and Aaron’s birth was very emotional although I didn’t realize why until later in the day. Probably one reason why I couldn’t get my act together and go to school yesterday. Time is one of the few things that will eventually make me feel better, not whole, not un-broken, not ok but better … but it feels sad and painful too.