56-59 Thanksgiving Weekend

It was quieter than usual.  My aunt and her family decided to go visit my cousin in North Dakota so our usual big crowd was cut to just the seven of us.  It was pleasant and of course the food was great.  I made a pumpkin pie but it didn’t taste good.  Mom made a banana creme pie but it didn’t get firm.  I know I have so much to be thankful for but it bothered me that no one seemed to miss my two little ones except me.    I just wonder if people do miss them too but don’t want to bring me down.  I never know whether to say something or not.  Hate to be the one to bring everyone down but it’s tough to wear the mask.  I did it though…I fulfilled my role as the one who carries conversations when it gets quiet.  I don’t think anyone knew I was hurting.  I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.  I felt so bad I took a pill when I got home.  This is going to be a tough holiday season.

On Black Friday, I took Mom to get her upper teeth pulled for dentures.  Even with “twilight” sedation it took only about an hour and she came out of it really well.  She’s had a few teeth out of her jaw for years and was surprisingly excited and looking forward to doing this.  It’s one of the signs I’ve taken to mean she’s not getting bogged down in grief and depression as she has in the past.

Today she was feeling good enough to  begin a Christmas project making ornaments and was even up for a quick trip to the craft store with Stretch, Dollface and me.  Dollface got terribly lost in the store and I caught the poor thing crying and calling for Stretch.   We dropped Stretch at a friend’s house and after that, Dollface came to my house and we just played with the cats and she “groomed” the dog until she was ready to go to her friend’s house.   C and E are away at a winery for the night.   Tomorrow will be church and more leftovers, I guess.   It’s been a busy break but I guess that’s good.

56/365 – Fox
56/365 - Fox

57/365 – At The Movies (Last Weekend)
57/365 - At The Movies

58/365 – Carving The Bird
58/365 - Carving The Bird

59/365 – Family
59/365 - Family

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5 comments on “56-59 Thanksgiving Weekend

  1. Was it easier after the family reunion to have a smaller group? It is hard for people to know what to say. I think of you and all of your sweet ones often but don’t know what to say. I can only imagine it’s magnified with family. It would have been nice to have some acknowledgement even if it had only been a candle lit in honor of “those who are not with us but in memory.”

  2. I think grief freaks people out because they don’t know how a grieving person is going to react. When I saw a counsellor recently and I said I tried not to be upset in front of my folks she told me they know everything isn’t perfect with me and I don’t have to tell them that for them to know. So I think your family knows you aren’t right even when you try your best to look right.

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