What I Know

Sorry to say, Friends, it’s not much. “A” is 14, in the eighth grade and three months pregnant. Her mom is a drug addict who has overdosed four times, the last of which they didn’t even take her to the hospital. A stays with her aunt who has told her that she will kick her out when her pregnancy starts to show. The father/boyfriend is 15 and wants her to keep the baby. She is on prenatal vitamins and has been to a doctor a few times and had a couple ultrasounds. SC tells me she’s a good hearted girl who is a little rough around the edges and that she’s short, blond and blue eyed. She wants an open adoption.

SC talked to her again after talking with me on the weekend. She told A a little about me and asked if she’d told any adults in her life or the boyfriend or his parents that she was pursuing giving the baby up for me to adopt. She told SC it was her decision…hers.   She had talked to her doctor about it and he told her she didn’t have to  have anyone’s permission even though she’s a minor.

I’ve begun to come down from the initial excitement.  Taking a more realistic approach now.  Not saying it couldn’t happen but it seems so unlikely that it would come to fruition.  All it would take is one adult, the boyfriend’s parents for example, telling her they would help her, for it to be all over for me.  I’m trying hard to not think too much about it…just let it unfold.   I believe the next step is for her to talk to the school social worker and for the social worker to contact an adult in her life.  SC has said if nothing seems to be happening in a week or two she will talk to A again and I’ve told SC that I’m ok to just wait until she tells me it’s time to do something like contact a lawyer or make arrangements to meet with A and her family.   There’s nothing else I can do anyway…except pray.

 

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10 comments on “What I Know

  1. It is so hard to be in limbo and wonder what is going to happen. Even as you try to not get attached, it’s never far from your mind. I know that I have frequently thought of the young woman my former student told me about a month or so ago. I’ve not heard anything since the first conversation, but I still wonder. I will keep A in my thoughts and hope that A really gives some thought about what is best for the baby (and I can not imagine it is being raised in that home).
    By the way, thanks for satisfying my nosiness. 🙂

  2. So off the walls question, i know.. but would you consider taking them both in? A and the baby I mean. She’s still a child herself and It doesn’t sound like she has much in the way of support or even a home once she starts showing. I know you want a baby but it sure sounds like A could use some good mothering too.

  3. I was thinking the same thing as Catie, it sounds as tho A could use a mom as much as her baby. I know I haven’t commented much lately & am sorry for that but did want to pop on to say you’re always in my thoughts & I am praying this works out for you.

  4. Thinking of you and all involved so much and hoping for the best for everyone. Catie and Tiara have a good point although that could be difficult as well.

    • I’ve been thinking about my comment and want to retract it. I started thinking about it and realized life isn’t Hollywood, how could adopting both of them really work out. I think it isn’t really realistic and best case scenario is you’d end up taking care of both of them until A’s old enough to take care of herself and her baby.

      What I really hope happens is that A realizes the baby will most certainly be better off with you. And I do think she’s probably pretty amazing for considering it.

  5. I really hope this can work out – sounds as though it would be great for everybody. I have a friend who got right to the end – the baby arrived and then the girl changed her mind – after she had spent a small fortune – on a lawyer and baby stuff.

  6. Sending good thoughts and prayers to you and A. Maybe if you have a chance to meet all of the other adults involved, they would understand why it would be better for everyone if you were able to adopt the baby. Does A have any future goals for her life (college, etc.)? If she does, then she is more likely to place the baby for adoption.

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