Me: Do you think you would like to live during the time of the dinosaurs.
Mariah: Nuhh Uhh, Ms. B, my body is full of meat and that’s what dinosaurs like to eat. I don’t want them to eat all my body meat.
Terrien: After the dinosaurs, how did people come to the Earth?
Terrien: Oh yeah…I learned that story at church…what was their name… Jack and Jill?
(Upon seeing me wearing makeup for the first time in a very long while)
Mad Shitter: Ms. B, did you get new eyes? They match your hair! They make you pretty!
(which reiterates my mother’s lament “You could get away with no makeup if you’d only do your eyes” the last part of which she says on a sigh like she’s so burdened by my undone eyes.
Kindergarten girl: Ms. B do you have a tissue?
Me (as I inspected her face): Do you need one?
Kindergarten girl: No, Ms. B, YOU need one. There is something hanging out of your nose.
Me: Ummm, thanks…always good to have someone on booger patrol.
A few weeks ago a Witness came to my door. Now, nothing against these folks, in fact, I admire the commitment they’ve made. However, we know they can be…well.. persistent. So this lady is talking and talking about praying and how some people find it a struggle to pray and how some people have doubts in times of trouble. And then she asked me if I’d ever had doubts or trouble talking to My Lord. I told her I’d lost my twin boys back in September so of course I’d had trouble with these things. I wish you could have seen the look on this poor lady’s face. Her face just fell and she actually took a step back. She tried to go on with her spiel but you could tell she was having trouble. She even said something like “Oh my, I have to gather myself. That is so sad.” Finally, she and her friend said good bye and scurried off to their car. I imagine the prayed for me as they pulled away. It gave me a good chuckle that day.