Well, it was awful. Just awful. She cried and cried and screamed. Aunt S wrote her a letter trying to explain but of course an 8 year old heart can’t understand the why…they just want their family. Awful enough to be neglected and “given away” by your parents now the last relative you had hope for is giving up too. It was just wretched. Then she wanted to go back to her foster home from before the Aunt and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t. I just want to shake people and tell them to get it together…these are children not toys to throw away. I’m hating Aunt S right now.
Worst of all…I’m having cold feet or second thoughts or something. What have I gotten myself into? I’m not sure I have enough to give this child. What was I thinking? Now, I’m in it for real and forever because no way am I going to let that girl go through this again if I can help it. Too many people have let her down. I’m feeling a horrible pressure because what if I’ve made the wrong decision? What if I can’t do it? What if I’m just not enough? What if she’s disappointed for the rest of her life because I’m not a good enough mom.