I’d been dreading it. This was not something I enjoyed as a child and so I didn’t think I would enjoy it with a child either. All the trying on and off, fighting with mom over what I wanted vs. what she wanted me to have, tiny, hot fitting rooms with not enough room for me and my mom, stuff never fitting right….on and on. Add to this history, C wanting to go too and drag Dollface, who has never liked shopping, along…in my mind, it was just to boss me around about how to shop and what to buy for kids since I probably couldn’t figure it out on my own.
The beginning was very rough, if I’m telling the truth. I just grew more and more anxious on the drive down there and resentful of C pushing her way into Mom’s and my outing. Meanwhile, Sunny was just chirping away in the backseat. She loves shopping and loves the mall. Walking through the boys’ department to get to the girls’ was very hard. Greyson would be getting ready for Pre-K if he were still with me. Little plaid shirts and corduroy pants, small C.onverse style shoes and colorful jackets. God, it hurt to see those things and know my little boy would never wear any of them nor would I ever get to take him to his first day of school…ever. I did start to cry a little bit and I had to walk away from Mom and Sunny.
But then I chided myself to get it together and I allowed myself to be swept up in the sea of pink and sequins that dominates the girls’ section. There are some pretty cute things out there for an eight year old girl and it was hard not to shop to excess. It was fun picking out things and seeing her prance out of the dressing room and talking her into (cute white and pink sweater) and out of (garish black and gold leopard print tunic) different things. This girl has wild tastes let me tell you. She’d dress every day in hot pink animal print if I’d let her.
C didn’t get on my nerves as badly as I thought she might and was helpful. I begrudgingly admit that. I’m sure I would have figured it all out on my own, if she hadn’t been there. She and Dollface headed home before lunch so Mom and I did have some time to ourselves.
I think the cutest thing was the matching overalls we got for both the girls. It’s just what should have been happening all along, if I hadn’t somehow royally screwed up my whole life. My brother’s kids and mine shopping for school clothes together and singing in the dressing room and getting matching outfits and treats from their grandma.