Counseling

Sunny had her first appointment with her new counselor on Tuesday.   The counselor is a very nice woman in her 60s with long hair…I’m pretty sure she was a hippy in her younger years.  Anyway, Sunny seemed relaxed when we left and I didn’t ask too much about the session since we’ve talked about counseling sessions being private.

She had an emotional episode that night and for the next three nights.  It’s wearing me out!  The first one at bedtime when she’d chosen to take out her aunt’s letter and reread it for the first time in weeks.    The other tantrums were about minor corrections about behaviors she knows are not acceptable.  While I know she’s not tantruming about the little thing I said or did but about the bigger picture, unfortunately I’m the target and it’s hard to remain unfazed by it especially when the back chat starts.

One night, after she’d back talked me and was stomping off to her room, she screamed, “I HATE MY LIFE!”. She came out later carrying this note in front of her face.
No I'm Really Not

I nearly laughed when I read it. Me? Normal? Ha! I must really have this kid snowed.

So we talked about her life and I listed a ton of things about her life and asked if she hated those. No, she said, she didn’t hate those things. I told her those things WERE her life and if she didn’t hate those, she couldn’t possible hate her life.  She said she hated being a foster kid and wanted to be with her family. Poor kid. I tried to get her to realize being a foster kid wasn’t her whole identity but I’m afraid it’s so ingrained, she can’t see past it. I wrote her this note back:
What is normal?

She chuckled, which was good to hear after all that angst, and said she didn’t know what “normal” was either.

Finally, tonight, we had a good night together and she didn’t even cry or back talk when I told her she couldn’t spend the night with Dollface because of the disrespect she’d shown me.

Can’t wait for this week’s counseling session…

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2 comments on “Counseling

  1. You say it’s hard to remain unfazed, but you have immense patience under what has to be extremely frustrating circumstances. I am glad that counseling seems to be hellping her.

  2. It sounds like you are doing So well with her. The fact that you get a bit of acting out sounds to me to be rather good (but not fun for you 🙂 I need to tell you for some reason your blog keeps disappearing from my log roll – and then comes back – I get a rare glimpse into your life and then you are all gone! wishing you all best wishes!

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