For the first time in many years, I am looking forward to the New Year and seeing the many possibilities of life ahead. My family are mostly in good health and we are close and mostly happy. Sunny and I seem to be settling into mother/daughterhood and we are both looking forward to her baptism in February and eventually her adoption. I am considering taking in another foster child. I am in the beginning stages of adding onto my home. So my mind is full of choices and wondering what may happen in the 12 months ahead. Friends, there were so many New Years in the past that I didn’t care what happened or I was sure there was just emptiness and pain ahead. I never thought I would ever again think, “What great thing is going to happen this year?” or “this week?” or “today?” While I will never, ever stop grieving my children or be able to repair the devastation in my heart that having them taken from me left behind, words cannot describe how good and hopeful it feels inside to be looking forward and feeling curious about the future.
1. Be as committed as I can to Weight Watchers which I joined last Saturday with Em. It is time to begin rebuilding my health and self worth. I would love to lose 50-80 pounds this year. (Failed – did it for three months and lost 30 pounds which I have gained back)
2. Give the church a raise – $60 from every paycheck. (SUCCEEDED)
3. Give $50 a month to a charity of my choice. (Did it a few times, just like last year)
4. Stop buying junk! (See 3 and 4 above) Stop all the little “junky” projects and let #2 and 3 pledges become the contributions this year. (SUCCEEDED – Sunny and I each packed a box for Operation Christmas Child but that’s it)
5. Pay off my car loan. (SUCCEEDED)
6. Begin an Emergency Fund. I’ve always been a good saver but infertility wiped that out and the past year’s disposable income was spent on paying funeral, hospital, credit card bills, buying frivolous crap for myself and supporting my “packing habit” see 4 above) I believe saving $200-300 a month would be a good goal. (Semi-succeeded: Started a small fund but no where near the 200 a month I had planned)
7. Volunteer with Faith In Action at least 12 times this year. This is an organization that helps elderly people stay independent by offering them rides to the doctor, treatments, shopping or other errands. (Failed – even though I got the background check and application approval, I didn’t even do it one time.)
8. Random Acts of Kindness. My pledge is to do at least one in honor of each of my children this year and it would be great if I could more than one for each of them. I have printed little cards and want to open it up to all my friends and family who would like to honor Greyson, Mavis, Jack and Aaron OR their own loved one this year. (SUCCEEDED – Yes, I did this many times this year, not sure of the number but I’m sure it averaged at least one per month.)
- Take better care of myself. Both my therapist and Sunny’s agree that this needs to come first. I’m pledging to schedule at least one “pamper” a month. I already have “floats” scheduled for January and February and I will begin exercising again.
- Give the church a raise – $70 from every paycheck.
- Continue to build an emergency fund – save $200 or more each month.
- Volunteer with Faith in Action at least 6 times this year. I think this would be good for Sunny as well.
- Random Acts of Kindness. At the beginning of the school year, I started a project of trying to do one anonymously for each of my co-workers. I always said that if I could afford it I would give a flower to everyone every day because the few times I received flowers at work it was so uplifting. Obviously, I cannot do that but I started getting the three dollar potted flowers they have at the grocery store and sneaking them onto someone’s desk each week with an anonymous “You’ve been RAKed” card. Sometimes I’d leave chocolate or other small gift instead. I’ve done about 5 so far and I’d like to finish this before the end of the school year.
That’s about it. I have other things I’d like to accomplish, like document Sunny’s first year with me in a photo book and many other projects. I hope to be blogging about all of these along the way.
I don’t receive too many comments any more but I’m sure there are still a few of you out there. If you’ve stuck with me, thank you for reading this year.