I just couldn’t let it drop. Although I know the best thing for her would have been to let the whole thing drop, the thought that someone might snatch her away was so terrifying that I couldn’t. We had several conversations about what to do if her brother or mother or anyone showed up in an unexpected place and tried to take her away. I feel terrible about having to scare her but the thought of something like that happening is unbearable. I also couldn’t help but gently prod about if she wished she could live with her mother or brothers. I believe the true heart of her wants them all to live together and happily ever after but she was adamant about not going back to “that life” with an addict mother and father who is periodically in prison.
I’m dealing with my own anger too. I had been gathering pictures of biomom in case Sunny wanted them later on but now I just don’t want to do that. I don’t care if she has pictures of her mom. I want Sunny to forget her completely and see me as her only mother, however, I know that’s not the way of things in foster/adoption. My own mother gently admonished me and encouraged me to tuck those things away for Sunny and I know that is what I have to do.
Tuesday she came home draggy and tired. She hid homework from me and didn’t show an interest in going to her theater class. After class and when she’d done the hidden homework, I sent her to bed only a bit early and she had a huge crying tantrum about it, hiding in her closet “quiet place” and falling asleep there.
Wednesday was a Snow Day. Yay! and Sunny did seem much more like herself after sleeping in. When she woke up, I told her to hurry and get ready because we were very late and she’d have to catch the bus from home instead of the babysitter’s. A little joke. I thought she would check back in with me or ask if it was time to go but she got dressed and went right outside to wait for the bus. We had a good laugh over the prank and she seemed like my girl again.
I had forgotten how frozen you get when playing in the snow and how kids don’t seem to feel it. I left her with E and Dollface to play some more. The country activity of hooking the sled up to a four wheeler was in full effect until Dollface went flying off and hit a fence post. She had broken her collar bone but we didn’t know it for a while. E had to do the typical man thing of telling her to dust herself off and get back on the horse. Finally after 45 minutes of crying C took her to emergency care. Poor kid. On the mend now.