To my oldest Greyson,
I have sure been thinking about you a lot this Christmas season. I have so many blessings and I try to count every one but you are one blessing I am constantly missing. As the days go by and your aunts bring presents to your sister and we go to various holiday events, I always wonder how you would have liked the lights or the live nativity or baking cookies.
You’d be in kindergarten this year, my big boy. I know I would have cried and cried on your first day but I hope you would have been brave. You’d probably be in the same classroom I was in for kindergarten and maybe you would have a little crush on your teacher. Maybe you’d be reading a little bit by now or at least picking out words in the Christmas books I keep under the tree.
Would you have a chore or two on our farm?… I know you’d be PawPaw’s pride and joy and Uncle E’s little helper. Would this be the year for a big two wheel bike under the tree or a puppy dog for you to grow up with?
I often envision you as a serious boy…quite the opposite of your sister. I hope you’d be the best of friends but I know there would have been squabbles and tattletales.
I wish you were here, my precious one. I miss you and I want you here. I always want you here.
Dear Jack and Aaron,
As I sit here listening to your sister singing in the shower, I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like with you here. Three years old…one of the best “Santa” years of your life. You would have so much wonder on your face at the #Christmas lights and decorations. Would you have been shy when visiting Santa? What would it have been like preparing 4 Christmas eve boxes instead of just one? Little boy footie pajamas and Christmas books, hot coco and popcorn.
I always imagine you, Jack, leading your brother into mischief and you, Aaron, trying to lead him out of it. I think you would have run rough shod over our farm, making it your playground. I can just hear your laughter and myself yelling after you both. Would you have been my helper at home too? Would you have constantly gotten into your sister and brother’s stuff and annoyed them by tagging along when they were doing big kid stuff?
Oh the two of you…how do I get along down here without you. I think about you all the time and I miss you so much, my little ones.