TTC and Infant Loss Timeline

January-June 2009 – try “naturally” with an ex-boyfriend/friend who’s agreed to help me become a mother and have a role in the child’s life
January 2009 – hysterosalpingogram shows open tubes and normally shaped uterus and I begin to take Femara
June 2009 – Ex goes a little bonkers and I turn to donor sperm and IUIs
June – December 2009 – Some months I ovulate, some months I don’t. I have two IUIs with donor sperm during this time.
January 12, 2010 – first consult with RE – he orders copious tests
January 19, 2010 – RE tells me my eggs are nearly non-existant – less that 6% chance of pregnancy with my own eggs.
January 20-February 20 – Contemplate donor eggs
February 28, 2010 – Decide on an embryo donor
April 21, 2010 – I begin medication
for donor egg cycle
May 10, 2010 – Donor egg cycle is cancelled due to small size and small number of eggs. Donor is taken off the registry and I’m devestated
May 11, 2010 – I choose an new donor and book a July cycle
August 2, 2010 – My wonderful donor gives me 22 eggs, all of which fertilize!
August 6 2010 – 2 beautiful embryos transfered
August 13, 2010 – Over the MOON with my BFP!!!!!!!!!!!
August 13 – December 5 – The 20 happiest weeks of my life
December 2, 2010 – It’s a BOY!
December 5, 2010 – My sweet, perfect boy is born still, silent and beautiful at exactly 20 weeks gestation.
December 8, 2010 – I have to put my only son into the ground
December 5 – ??? – grieving my son is the most hellish existance
March 7, 2011 – RE encourages me to go forward with trying to get pregnant again.
April 5, 2010 – Maternal Fetal Specialist tells me there may have been cervical problems. If I get pregnant again, I’ll have to be checked every other week or every week
April 25, 2011 – I survive our due date without hearing my baby’s cry
June 7, 2011 – FET – three perfect embryos made me their world
June 14, 2011 – BFN – none of them stayed, I’m dismayed and heartbroken
October 17, 2011 – My last two “medium quality” embryos are transfered.
October 27, 2011 – officially negative. Wondering what to do now and what will become of me.
December 2011 – decide I can scrape up the money and my wits for another try. I chose the perfect donor and make payments.
December 12, 2011 – The “perfect” donor’s blood work comes back positive for syphilis. I wonder who could make such a cruel joke.
December 2011 – March 2012 – Four more donors crap out on me in one way or another and I feel completely beat down.
March 17, 2012 – My sixth donor gives me 50 eggs!
March 22, 2012 – My embryo transfer is pushed off a day because the embryos have been “slow” to develop.
March 23, 2012 – I have two B2 grade embryos transferred. Two B2 grade embryos are frozen.
March 29, 2012 – First beta is negative. I have no hope left of having a family. What should I do now?
June 25, 2012 – My cousin, Em, agrees to become my next egg donor.
October 13, 2012 – My beautiful cousin gives me 18 beautiful eggs.
October 18, 2012 – 2 embryos were transferred, 3 to freeze.
October 26, 2012 – Negative Beta
November-December 2012 – I visit 4 other doctors trying to decide if I should change clinics.
January 2013 – I make a choice and begin preparations for my last ever FET
April 10, 2013 – I have a small procedure to remove a few tiny polyps and have a “scratch biopsy” at this time
May 3, 2013 – I have 3 embryos transferred, 2 from my cycle with Em and 1 from a previous cycle with an anonymous donor
May 16, 2013 – Beta #1 = 952
May 23, 2013 – Beta #2 = 19,136
May 28, 2013 – Ultrasound #1 shows 3 perfect “Sparks”!!!!
June 25, 2013 – One of my sweet Sparks is gone
September 6, 2013 – BOTH my twins are BOYS and completely healthy!!!!!! However, my cervix is already shortening…Dr. does not recommend any change in treatment or activity
September 12, 2013 – I gave birth to two perfect baby boys. Although I was blessed to have them with me for a few hours, their bodies were to small to support their beautiful spirits. I am a childless mother.
September 12, 2013 – ?? – Never in my wildest dreams thought staying alive would ever get this difficult. The majority of me is missing, I walk as a hollow shell and am barely surviving.
January 19, 2014 – I somehow survive my twin boys’ due date without hearing their cry or seeing their beautiful faces.

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