Tears, Tantrums and Ice Cream

Becoming a mother……TTC as a single woman, infertility, still born son, still born twins, foster daughter….our story goes on…..

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← 3/365 – Best Friends

5/365 – Little Boots →

Sep 22 2013

4/365 – Dogs at Sunset

4/365 – Dogs at Sunset

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← 3/365 – Best Friends

5/365 – Little Boots →

Missing My Sparks

Missing Greyson

About me:

I'm a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, teacher, beginning photographer, baker, bike rider and so much more. I've wanted to be a mother in the deepest part of my soul for as long as I can remember. I'm also in my 40s and single.

Several years ago, tired of waiting for a husband and running out of time, I searched my heart and knew I had to try to become a single mother by choice. I didn't anticipate the road to be so full of obstacles and heartbreak.

I barely survived the loss of my son, Greyson at 20 weeks gestation but went on to become pregnant again only to lose my twins, Jack and Aaron at 21 weeks. The all encompassing joy and living nightmare of this time in my life is indescribable but I was able to write about parts of it here.

I've now opened my home to my foster daughter and we are in the process of adoption.

Where will the journey take me next?

People In My Life

Sweet Pea/Greyson - my beautiful son who was born perfect and silent when I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant.

Jack and Aaron/Sparks A and B -my sweet twin boys, born beautiful and still at the 21st week of my pregnancy

Mavis Emily/Spark C - the third of my sparks, when I lost her early in our pregnancy, my triplets became twins

Sunny - my 9 year old foster daughter

Stretch - my teenage niece

DollFace - my preteen niece

E - My younger brother

C - My sister-in-law, E's wife

Em - my beautiful cousin and egg donor

Yayas - At one time, my seven closest friends

- SC - my friend since kindergarten

-MB - close friend and the twins' "auntie"

-MC - close friend and the twins' "auntie"

BS - good friend exclusive of the yayas and keeper of my secrets

Pastor J - my spiritual lifesaver and voice when I couldn't speak to God myself

RK - The counselor

People from my Past:
Dr. Hottie/Dr. H - Regular gynecologist (No longer think he's hot)

Dr. All American/Dr. AA - fertility specialist who helped me conceive Greyson

Dr. C - fertility specialist who helped me conceive Jack and Aaron

My Foster/Adoption Timeline

Fall 2014 - Begin seriously considering opening my home to foster children.
February 19, 2015 - Foster parent application mailed
April 4-May 9, 2015 - Preservice Foster Parenting "PRIDE" classes and a million papers filled out and signed
April 23, 2015 - Physical Check up
May 15, 2015 - Finger printed for background check
June 2, 2015 - First visit from Licensing Social Worker
June 9, 2015 - Final Visit from Licensing Social Worker. At this time, she talks to me about a possible placement, an 8 year old girl. They are willing to rush the approval on my license so I can take her in a few days. A few hours later, she calls to say it has been decided the girl will stay where she is.
June 27, 2015 - My Foster Home License came in the mail. I am a "facility".
July 1, 2015 - This same 8 year old girl, Sunny, comes to stay for one week of respite.
July 6, 2015 - I am asked to keep Sunny for a few more days.
July 14, 2015 - Sunny's counselor and case worker come to tell her she won't be going back to her aunt's house but will be staying with me.
August, 2015 - Sunny's parents surrender their parental rights.
September 4, 2015 - Sunny's parents have been given three chances for their final family visit but have not followed through on any of them. I have to tell Sunny she will never see them again.
Early December, 2015 - Sunny has been placed with me about 5 months and I sign an "Intent to Adopt" document.
January 27, 2016 - Administrative Case Review (ACR) for Sunny.
February 12-19 - Took 3 online classes required for adoption
February 16, 2016 - First Visit from Adoption Social Worker
February 19, 2016 - Hired an adoption lawyer

So far….

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