Greyson, Jack and Aaron,
You would be 8 and 5 this year. All of you big boys. Jack and Aaron, I think you would have still been in preschool. Greyson, you would have been in 2nd grade. There would have been a lot of L.egos, Hot Wheels, tractors and dump trucks all over our house. Our back yard would have been worn out with a swing set, sand box, bikes, trikes, and everything else little boys love. I can’t imagine how messy our house would be, how smudged up our walls would be or how tired our dog would have been from playing with you every day. How tired would I be?
I’ve been awful tired this year, sweet boys, because Sunny and I have taken in two foster kids. A sister and brother who were 5 years old and 2 months old when they came. I have to admit something to you….I have no idea how I would have cared for you because I can barely keep up with having three kids. If Sunny wasn’t here to help me with the baby, I fear I wouldn’t be able to keep him safe. I’ve never experienced such bone grinding tiredness as I did when the baby wasn’t yet sleeping through the night. Jack and Aaron? Would I have been able to care for you both as infants? Greyson, would I have had enough attention to give you with two infants in the house? I guess we will never know….
But we’ve also had so much more laughter in the house this year, and fun, and fights and playing and so much more….. I still wonder all the time what we would have laughed about, what our special phrases would be and what games you all would have liked to play. And so much more…I could go on and on wondering.
I love you unceasingly and every day I wish we were together.
Merry Christmas, darling boys.
Mama
Tears, Tantrums and Ice Cream 